Authenticity and Vulnerability on First Dates: Caroline Geraghty Shares Her CORE Method for Meaningful Connection
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): A Further Inquiry
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/07/30
Part 1 of 2
Caroline Geraghty, Internal Account Manager at 110 North Creative Agency, shares insights on authenticity and connection in dating. Drawing from her experience and her CORE method—Center, Observe, Reflect, Express—she emphasizes the importance of grounding oneself, embracing vulnerability, and managing anxiety with self-awareness. She explains how nervousness can stem from excitement, not a lack of chemistry, and offers strategies to create meaningful dialogue and build trust. Geraghty advocates for honest communication, extending grace to oneself and others, and staying curious during first dates to foster genuine connection. Her perspective blends personal insight with compassionate, practical advice for modern relationships.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: So today, we’re here with Caroline Geraghty. She’s an Internal Account Manager at 110 North Creative Agency. She previously served as a Client Account Manager from September 2023 to February 2025. Her professional background includes roles in marketing, community engagement, and health care—such as Marketing Specialist at The Karate Group and staff positions at UMC ([clarify: full name of UMC]). Caroline has also been involved in community initiatives, including serving as Block Party Co-Chair for the Bradley Gardens PTO and as Vice President of Hey Girl, You Can.
Her diverse experience reflects a strong commitment to integrating strategic communication with community and healthcare insights.
Thank you so much for joining me today. So, what do you think are common barriers to authenticity that people face on first dates?
Caroline Geraghty: A lot of it has to do with self-confidence. You’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position by opening up to someone completely new—someone you may or may not have had the chance to get to know. And at any point when you’re trying to make a connection with someone, we often start going through this internal checklist—or audit—asking: Am I good enough? Will this person like who I am when we first meet? Have I represented myself authentically sufficient to meet this person’s expectations?
What ends up happening is that the part of your brain responsible for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—the amygdala—kicks in. It’s there to protect you. But for people who don’t know how to ground or center themselves, that response can hijack the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and executive function.
Sorry, I’m a little nervous—this is the first time I’ve done something like this in a long time.
So even now, in this example, right? This is our first time meeting. I haven’t interviewed in a while, so I prepped myself. I did a bit of centring. What it comes down to is this: it starts with yourself.
Finding the space and time to ground yourself in who you are and what you bring to the table is such an essential first step—especially when it comes to first dates.
Jacobsen: What is the CORE method?
Geraghty: CORE is something I developed during my journey of discovering my neurodivergence. I’ve realized, through conversations with friends, therapists, mental health advocates, and providers, that my brain works a little differently.
One thing I’ve noticed is that not everyone naturally runs through a checklist of how to be human—and I know that might sound silly. However, for individuals who struggle with social interactions or have brains that function differently, maintaining a running list is a powerful tool. It helps you show up as your whole, authentic self in situations that are often nerve-wracking or might otherwise prevent you from building the meaningful connections that are so important to every human being.
So for me, what I’ve noticed—again, going back to “C is for Center”—is the importance of grounding yourself in who you are and checking in with your body. That means acknowledging and calling out the experiences you’re having in real-time. Right now, I’m feeling nervous. I’m feeling a little less confident than I was when I initially responded to your request.
But acknowledging that is part of the human experience. This is an opportunity for me to share my story, to get to know a new person—you, Scott—and to learn more about what you’re doing.
So, “O” is for Observe. That means paying attention to what exactly is happening with those feelings and understanding their origin. For instance, I mentioned earlier that it has been a long time since I last did an interview. Reopening myself to these situations and opportunities brings a learning curve—but hopefully, like riding a bike, I can find my groove, enjoy it, and gradually build up my confidence in this space.
Then we move into Reflecting. Acknowledging that being nervous or not feeling entirely confident isn’t a bad thing—it’s an opportunity for growth, development, and stretching beyond my comfort zone. Ideally, that leads to something even greater.
And finally, Express. This means being able to openly and effectively share your communication experience. Not only being able to ask for what you need in a given situation but also speaking authentically about your lived experience. That authenticity creates a connection—between you and me and with anyone reading or listening in the future.
Jacobsen: How does vulnerability contribute to building a genuine connection early on?
Geraghty: There are parts of your brain that support this. When you’re vulnerable, your body releases oxytocin—not only in you but also in the person you’re interacting with. It lowers defences. Essentially, you’re showing a moment of weakness or openness, and in that shared space, the other person may feel safe to open up as well.
They might share something personal or acknowledge that you’re just another human being navigating life. Vulnerability can create common ground or invite a deeper conversation—something the other person might feel strongly about or a moment where they choose to be more vulnerable themselves.
Jacobsen: How do you balance being authentic while managing nerves—especially in that early-stage context like a first date?
Geraghty: Taking a deep breath helps. And again, remind yourself that people aren’t looking for perfection—especially on a first date.
It’s unrealistic to show up as your most polished self every day. So, starting by saying, “Hey, this is who I am. I’m human. I have flaws. I have vulnerabilities—and I’m okay with that,” shows the person that you’re also okay with their vulnerable moments. You’re the type of partner, connection, or community who can support them when they’re not at their strongest—someone who can hold space when they need to be seen and heard.
Jacobsen: How do you distinguish between lack of chemistry and first-date anxiety? Because people might conflate those at the moment. If someone is feeling anxious during a first date, they might mistake that anxiety for a lack of chemistry. And those aren’t necessarily the same thing. They could be, depending on the person—but they often aren’t. So, how do you tell the difference in the moment?
Geraghty: That’s a great question. At the moment, if you’re feeling anxious, one way to distinguish between the two is to shift your mindset. Center yourself and recognize: Yes, I’m feeling anxiety. Then, reflect on what that anxiety is about.
The reason behind that anxiety might be that you’re excited to meet this person. And—reflecting on observing—it’s essential to realize you’re going to fumble your words or say something that might not land exactly how you intended.
But that’s how authentic conversations go. This isn’t a podcast. This isn’t a job interview. It’s an opportunity to have a dialogue, to go back and forth, and to leave space—not only for yourself to share more but to learn more about the person you’re with. It’s about being curious about them.
Ultimately, it’s about being able to express yourself in a more effective and meaningful way—so that connection can be built.
For the person who recognizes that their date is probably experiencing some anxiety, you can open the door for vulnerability by saying something like, “Hey, first dates—jitters, right?” or, “I’m excited and feeling nervous too.” By doing that, you’re acknowledging that this is a shared human experience, not something that only the other person is going through. You’re naming it for yourself as well.
Also, offering your date grace if you notice signs of anxiety matters. Pay attention—are they fidgeting? Do they seem disengaged from where the conversation is going? Notice their body language and see if there’s a way to shift the energy. Consider suggesting a walk or changing the topic to something lighter and more engaging.
There are ways to break through that anxiety and hopefully uncover the chemistry beneath it.
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