1549: What to do about vaguebooking and subtweeting? Disassociate.
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): Medium (Personal)
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/10/15
Emotional and reputational abuse comes in many forms.
Is it on Meta (formerly Facebook)?
Is it on X (formerly Twitter)?
Is it on LinkedIn, TikTok, etc.?
Is it vaguebooking, or is it subtweeting — colloquially defined?
Vaguebooking is a cryptic, dramatic, nonspecific update hinting about a problem without a statement as to the person or the situation in specific terms. It is to elicit concern or curiosity.
Subtweeting talks about a specific person without mentioning or tagging them, even after blocking them on social media to prevent a response.
It doesn’t matter if the person is talented. It doesn’t matter if the overall character of the person is positive. It doesn’t matter if you have positive affection for the individual as a friend. Suppose you witness abuse towards you, directly or indirectly. In that case, you can maintain mutual dignity for one another with additional respect for yourself by disassociating from the person in a systematic and dignified way. Why take part in your own abuse on their terms?
It’s an unfortunate pity. You may not even want to do it in the first place, too. However, is the historical trend of abusive behaviour in human civilizations and interpersonal history one of persistence or repetition?
Therefore, it’s more necessary than not, because it’s more likely to persist than not, and because no absolute safe space exists: Find out the easy way via others/vicariously or on your own terms in your life story.
Your pick; good luck.
A final encouragement: Do not harbour ill-will to them; but imagine the immensity of those who have asked this before, and recently, “Am I the only one?”
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