Conversation with Anthony Sepulveda (Brown) on An Affair, Psychological Dynamics, and Ethical Considerations: Member, World Genius Directory (8)
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): In-Sight: Independent Interview-Based Journal
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2020/12/22
Abstract
Anthony Sepulveda (Brown) is a Member of the World Genius Directory. He discusses: an affair; the narrative leading into this affair; the individual considerations; the interpersonal psychological dynamics; the ethical considerations; open to discuss this particular subject matter; and ethical system.
Keywords: affair, Anthony Sepulveda, ethics, psychological dynamics.
Conversation with Anthony Sepulveda (Brown) on An Affair, Psychological Dynamics, and Ethical Considerations: Member, World Genius Directory (8)
*Please see the footnotes, bibliography, and citation style listing after the interview.*
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: You were engaged in an affair, recently. Why?
Anthony Sepulveda (Brown)[1],[2]*: Simply put, I was in love.
Jacobsen: What is the narrative leading into this affair?
Sepulveda (Brown): Initially, Tango (who I first mentioned in part 2 of this interview) and I were coworkers. We knew each other for several years and became very close. But she was in a relationship and soon married, so we were strictly platonic. Unfortunately for her, their marriage wasn’t a healthy one. He was jealous, possessive and insecure, often treating her more like a security blanket than a partner. It was so bad that he forbade her from associating with any other man at all and she suffered greatly trying to hold everything together. At one point, he found out about me and sent a plethora if threatening messages before removing her phone privileges. But in the beginning of this year (2020), after a couple years apart, she found me on a social media I didn’t even remember making and got in touch. Shortly thereafter, we rendezvoused by her favorite body of water one evening and spent hours catching up as I held her as close as possible.
Then things really sped up – we messaged each other all day, every day and met up as often as we could. As our affair progressed, she expressed a desire to get back into modeling, which I encouraged. I soon became her personal security during the photo shoots and we’d go on little road trips on those rare occasions she could get away from her husband.
After several months, we reached a point where she needed to make a decision. After the last photo shoot I attended, she expressed how she’d feel a certain guilt for the rest of her life if she didn’t give him one last chance to change. As a loving wife, she felt that it was her duty to try marriage counseling. I didn’t believe he was capable of being who she wanted him to be, but I understood her motivation and respected her decision. All I asked of her was to be strong enough to accept the truth if he didn’t show improvement and one last kiss.
We didn’t speak much over the next couple months. But I was confident that at some point in the future, we’d be together again. I was wrong.
One evening, she told me she was pregnant. It wasn’t mine. And it wasn’t her husband’s.
Apparently, she’d been in contact with the photographer we met on our last trip while I had been waiting for her. I was shocked and quite upset by this, naturally. But I was still dedicated to finding a solution that would satisfy as many of us as possible. Which became very difficult once she informed me that her husband was aware of her state. I worked out all the options available to her, but only found one that didn’t put everyone at risk – she needed to get an abortion. Telling her to go through with it was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done. Made all the worse because I couldn’t do anything to help her during that time. At least the photographer was there for her, which I’m grateful for.
She told her husband that she’d had a miscarriage and I gave her time to get herself through it. It was all she was willing to accept from me. Shortly afterwards, they were divorced. It was then that she called me for the last time, crying because after signing the papers, after all she’d been through trying to hold everything together for years, he said he was glad to finally be rid of her.
Words cannot express how badly I wanted to hold her. To assure her that no matter what, I’ll always be there for her. Even if that meant stepping aside and giving her a chance at happiness with another man. I just didn’t want to lose her. She was my best friend.
But she became distant, reading my messages but not responding. And I was scared by what that could mean for our future. Life didn’t feel like it would be worth living without her in it.
In our last conversation, she opened up about the details of her life at the time. Her husband was begging for her to come back. But while she was tempted to do so, she was more dedicated to the photographer. So dedicated, in fact, that she felt that associating with me at all would be unfair to him. And so my best friend, the one person I was completely open with, the only person I contacted when I was afraid I had cancer threw me away for a man she’d known for less than two months. A man she didn’t even know and who didn’t really know her. A man who hadn’t even known she was married for most of their relationship.
It felt as though I’d been struck in the chest by a cannon.
I’ve been trying to move on ever since.
Jacobsen: What are the individual considerations in this regard?
Sepulveda (Brown): First and foremost, the safety of her and her child. Her husband had always been irrational and nothing was worth putting either of them at risk.
Jacobsen: What is the interpersonal psychological dynamics at play between the parties?
Sepulveda (Brown): She needed a healthy, supportive relationship that fulfilled her and helped her achieve her goals. As for me, I got my best friend back and felt like I finally had a chance at being happy.
Jacobsen: What are the ethical considerations too?
Sepulveda (Brown): The only factors we needed to consider were personal and spiritual. These were easy enough for me to accept because I wasn’t the married or religious one. She was initially hesitant, but agreed that she deserves better than what she had.
Jacobsen: Why be so open to discuss this particular subject matter?
Sepulveda (Brown): Several reasons. Firstly, at the beginning of this interview you asked me to share any important or impactful stories from my life. This one definitely qualifies and I’m not ashamed of my actions and see no reason to hide them. I also believe that this could lead to some important discussion on morality, relationships, mental health and recovery that could potentially be of service to anyone reading.
And sharing the story with the world feels like a way to let it go and get some sense of closure.
Jacobsen: What ethical system makes most sense of this formulation of (common) human affairs?
Sepulveda (Brown): Moral relativism.
Appendix I: Footnotes
[1] Member, World Genius Directory.
[2] Individual Publication Date: December 22, 2020: http://www.in-sightjournal.com/sepulveda-8; Full Issue Publication Date: January 1, 2021: https://in-sightjournal.com/insight-issues/.
*High range testing (HRT) should be taken with honest skepticism grounded in the limited empirical development of the field at present, even in spite of honest and sincere efforts. If a higher general intelligence score, then the greater the variability in, and margin of error in, the general intelligence scores because of the greater rarity in the population.
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