Nurturing Children’s Mental Health: Insights From Psychologist Dr. Kahlila Robinson
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): The Good Men Project
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/09/17
Kahlila Robinson, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice in New York City with expertise in child, family, and parent mental health. She earned her doctorate from the Graduate Center, City University of New York, and has extensive experience in hospitals, clinics, and early childhood programs, including serving as Director of Parent Mental Health for a nationally recognized early intervention program in the Bronx. Dr. Robinson also supervises graduate students at City College. Her work focuses on supporting children, parents, and adults with relational trauma while advocating for accessible, high-quality mental health services for underserved populations. Robinson emphasizes children’s need for secure attachment, unconditional love, and supportive structure. She highlights the role of play, creativity, and self-efficacy in resilience, while dispelling myths about self-regulation. Early interventions, parental attunement, and community support are vital in fostering healthy development and preventing long-term mental health challenges. With Sarah Gerstenzang, Kahlila Robinson, Ph.D. is the author of The Self-Regulation Workbook for Children Ages 5 to 8 (Ulysses Press, April 2025).
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What are the most fundamental psychological needs of children?
Dr. Kahlila Robinson: Children need to feel the consistent, reliable presence of a safe and caring adult. Research shows that we need at least one securely attached relationship to support normal development.
Jacobsen: How can caregivers help nurture emotional resilience?
Robinson: Through delighting in children and allowing them to feel unconditionally loved, and by offering them opportunities to develop self-efficacy (believing in their own ability to achieve goals), strengthening their independent adaptive skills, and giving them a perceived sense of control.
Jacobsen: What role does consistent structure and routine play?
Robinson: Structure and routine helps kids know what to expect, which is an incredibly helpful feeling to have in a big world.
Jacobsen: What are the biggest misconceptions about children’s needs?
Robinson: Probably that children should be able to calm themselves down without sufficient adult help.
Jacobsen: How can early interventions prevent long-term mental health challenges?
Robinson: If a child has a healthy attachment relationship, one that is safe, caring and reliable, between the ages of 0-3, it sets the stage for long-term healthy brain development, emotional functioning and relational functioning. But parents can also become better at their parenting – more tuned in and connected – helping their children at any age.
Jacobsen: What signs indicate a child is struggling emotionally?
Robinson: It can vary widely and it is important to be attuned to the child to notice their stress responses. Children can both “externalize” negative feelings by acting out and being difficult to bond with, and “internalize” their negative feelings or stress by becoming withdrawn or inhibited in some way. Children can show regressions in their normal functioning when under stress, including having more difficulty with separation, limits, routines and even their own independent skills. Focusing on whether kids can get to school, sleep, and eat normally are good indicators of whether they are doing ok or struggling.
Jacobsen: How important are creativity and unstructured time for mental health?
Robinson: They are very important, especially in the form of play and playful connection between parent and child.
Jacobsen: What can schools and communities do to support strong mental health in children in underserved populations?
Robinson: Offer workshops to parents on how to co-regulate and play with children. Offer parent mental health support including resources for therapy. Have strong afterschool programs with arts and sports!
Jacobsen: Thank you for the opportunity and your time, Dr. Robinson.
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