Malka Shaw, LCSW, Jewish Resilience & Combating Antisemitism

Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen

Publication (Outlet/Website): The Good Men Project

Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/03/29

Malka Shaw, LCSW, founded Kesher Shalom Projects, which promotes Jewish unity, resilience, and cultural competency. The project emerged after the October 7, 2023, Hamas attacks and the global surge in anti-Semitism. Shaw highlights the psychological impact of anti-Semitism, propaganda, and identity destabilization. She discusses The Guard System, a trauma-informed framework integrating CBT, DBT, and narrative therapy to help individuals develop coping skills. Shaw stresses the urgency of addressing anti-Semitism, media misinformation, and social division, emphasizing that anti-Semitism threatens democratic values and requires a unified response across Jewish and non-Jewish communities.

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Today, we’re here with Malka Shaw, LCSW, the founder of Kesher Shalom Projects. Can you introduce this project before we get into the discussion?

Malka Shaw: Kesher means connection, and Shalom means peace. That symbolism represents what we stand for—we aim to foster connections, promote peace and unity, and combat hate.

Kesher Shalom grew organically after October 7, 2023, following the Hamas-led attacks on Israel, which resulted in the largest loss of Jewish life in a single day since the Holocaust. The attacks also triggered a global surge in anti-Semitism. As I mentioned before, we started recording anti-Semitic incidents worldwide, which have increased dramatically, with a reported 360% rise in some regions. In the United States alone, anti-Semitic hate crimes account for nearly 55% of all religiously motivated hate crimes, despite Jews making up only about 2.4% of the population.

What was not being adequately addressed was how to help the Jewish community cope with this trauma and build resilience. This project is unique because we are trauma therapists focused on fostering resilience. We prioritize education and have now trained over 3,500 mental health professionals through continuing education courses on Jewish cultural competency, the psychological impact of anti-Semitism, working with Jewish clients, and navigating Jewish identity in the wake of October 7.

We have also been researching the psychological mechanisms of propaganda, how anti-Semitic ideologies spread, and their broader societal impact. While we initially focused on mental health professionals, our programs and workshops are designed for a broad audience. I have spoken at the New Jersey Bar Association, Rutgers University, and other institutions. We can adapt our material to meet the needs of any audience. Providing accurate, evidence-based education and sharing factual information as widely as possible is crucial.

A key part of this is Jewish cultural competence. This is not just about understanding Jewish history in the context of persecution but also about recognizing Jewish contributions to society, values, and traditions. A significant portion of our work involves correcting misconceptions—terms like “chosen people” and “Zionism” are often misinterpreted, weaponized, and used to justify discrimination against Jews.

We work to clarify these concepts, explain their true meanings, and discuss their impact on Jewish clients. The mental health field has also experienced a sharp rise in anti-Semitism. Many Jewish individuals are now hesitant to seek professional help outside Jewish practitioners. In contrast, Jewish practitioners themselves face threats, professional ostracization, and doxxing.

The Free Press broke a major story highlighting how Jewish mental health professionals have been targeted online.

Jacobsen: I read the story. Unfortunately, this situation has become common, though it’s not right.

Shaw: Yes, people are being doxxed. I have personally received numerous threats and cyber harassment. On the other hand, my practice has seen a significant increase in Jewish clients seeking culturally competent care. I always prided myself on maintaining a diverse practice and enjoyed working with people from all backgrounds. I define culture broadly—not just in ethnic or religious terms but also in professional subcultures, such as those in emergency medicine, law enforcement, or first responders—each has its own identity.

For me, culture has many layers beyond ethnicity or religion. I appreciate you bringing this topic to my attention, and I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.

Jacobsen: When it comes to resilience—an important topic—it appears in psychological and therapeutic discussions almost as frequently as narcissism, particularly in the United States today. So, when considering cultural competence on the one hand and resilience on the other, how do you convey Jewish people’s culture, values, and ideologies in the United States to those who may have limited knowledge? And how do you teach resilience to individuals who are more likely to be targeted by these types of hate crimes?

Shaw: Let’s take one question at a time. Let’s start with cultural competence. We have a formula. I’m a licensed clinical social worker, and there is an established formula for teaching cultural competence in social work. I follow that formula. Many licensing boards require cultural competence training to maintain certification as part of continuing education requirements. However, before October 7, 2023, it was rare to find Jewish identity and experience included among the cultural competence topics.

So, we have to start by defining Jewish identity, which is complex. Judaism is not just a religion, culture, or ethnicity—it is all these and more. Different individuals connect with different aspects of Jewish identity. Judaism predates these modern categorizations; concepts like religion, culture, and ethnicity emerged only in the last few hundred years, whereas Judaism has existed for more than 4,000 years.

To build cultural competence, we discuss Jewish ideology and key historical milestones that shape Jewish identity today. I am not there to provide an in-depth history lesson—there are many history professors. Instead, we cover the essentials in two or three slides and a seven-minute video. My goal is to establish the historical and cultural context necessary to understand intergenerational trauma, which is closely tied to Jewish resilience.

I am there to answer questions and clarify common misconceptions. One major issue today is misinformation about Zionism. Zionism has been demonized to the point where discussing it triggers a gaslighting effect. But Zionism, at its core, is simply the Jewish people’s right to self-determination and their desire to live in their ancestral homeland.

Zionism does not mean discrimination against others in that homeland. It also does not mean one must agree with every modern State of Israel policy. I often adjust how I present this information depending on when and where I give the class.

I always ask, “Did you agree with everything Trump did? “Did you agree with everything Biden did? “Nobody is going to say they agreed with both. We are allowed to criticize a democracy.

So, we’re not talking about politics here. We’re talking about the right to defend ourselves when attacked and the right to yearn for our homeland. But when people start to associate Zionism with something evil or inaccurate, that is anti-Semitism.

Point blank—it’s anti-Semitism. And it also violates the ethical codes of mental health professionals, as well as those in healthcare and legal professions. In psychology, we emphasize self-experience and lived experience. Our role is not to redefine an identity or belief not part of our culture. Doing so is considered unethical in the field.

Cultural competence is crucial in our social and mental health work. It fosters true empathy. We’re not just telling people, “Don’t engage in anti-Semitism because it’s bad.”

We want people to understand who we are. Empathy comes from truly knowing someone. Once you genuinely understandsomeone, they are no longer an outsider.

At their core, human beings are human beings. Everyone shares fundamental needs—the desire to connect, love, and uphold personal values. We aim to break down the walls of judgment.

Now, moving on to your excellent question about resilience. It’s a separate issue. As a trauma therapist, I’ve seen the evolution of how we discuss trauma. We used to call it trauma recovery. Now, we talk about building resilience.

It’s a more forward-thinking, positive approach. The word resilience comes from engineering—it originally referred to materials “bouncing back.” But that’s not how trauma works.

Once you go through something difficult, you are never the same. But you have a choice. You can turn toward despair, depression, or bitterness, or you can find meaning and purpose. Some people emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and become stronger.

We strive for that. This is why people often say, “With age comes wisdom.” It’s because they’ve lived through experiences. You don’t get through life without facing pain or disappointment. I wish you could. But if that were the case, I’d be out of business.

I wish we all could, but that’s not how life works. Resilience building starts with small steps. It begins with mindset because our mindset affects our feelings, and our feelings influence our actions. That’s basic cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) in a nutshell. And while it sounds simple, there’s much truth to it.

So, we start with a mindset. We help people name their experiences, express their emotions, and remove any sense of shame about what they have gone through or are currently facing. That is the most important piece. Resilience is not about feeling strong—it’s about navigating through difficulty. Clients often say to me, “I don’t feel strong.” And that’s exactly it.

Resilience happens at that moment—when you don’t feel strong, but you take another step forward anyway. And you keep going. Over time, people discover that they are far more capable than they ever realized.

That is my job in individual therapy, but it’s also my job as an educator and public speaker—to help people recognize their inner strength. Do you want to continue? Do you have any other questions?

Jacobsen: I do. I’ve noticed generational differences in how people define abuse.

Older generations—particularly in films and media—often only recognize physical or sexual abuse. In more recent times, there has been greater awareness and nuance, acknowledging psychological and emotional abuse as well.

And in the last 20 years, with cell phones, computers, and constant connectivity, people—especially in the United States and other developed nations—are immersed in online spaces. Anti-Semitism has also evolved and spread in these digital environments.

What are your recommendations for people who want to reduce their exposure or self-soothe when encountering something triggering?

Shaw: I always say, “Unplug to replug.” Social media has its positives. You and I wouldn’t have connected if it weren’t for digital media. Without it, we likely wouldn’t have crossed paths. Hopefully, it allows you to write an amazing article. That’s one benefit.

However, as mental health professionals, we strongly recommend setting boundaries. We often advise spending at least one hour, five times a week, completely off devices. In Judaism, we have Shabbat—from Friday night to Saturday night—when we disconnect from technology.

But tuning out is tuning in—to family, loved ones, and moments of reflection. Now, regarding abuse—you’re right. The boomer generation often says, “Toughen up.” But younger generations have a different perspective.

I work with teenagers who sometimes label everything as trauma. For example, they’ll say, “My teacher gave me a B+ instead of an A—that’s so traumatic.” But that’s not how trauma works, either.

But there is a reality—words do hurt. They truly penetrate. What we’re seeing with anti-Semitism today is a gaslighting effect. Specifically, what we’re witnessing online is what I call macro gaslighting. Traditional gaslighting occurs when an individual manipulates, controls, or distorts reality to make someone else question their sanity. Sometimes, it involves the perpetrator playing the victim or making the target feel unimportant, dismissed, or even crazy.

With macro gaslighting, the message extends beyond an individual. Instead of “I don’t matter,” it becomes “Malka doesn’t matter.” “She’s not worthy.” “She deserved it.” “She must be stopped.” Now, that damaging narrative spreads across social networks and communities, distorting perceptions on a mass scale. Macro gaslighting is dangerous—like a spiderweb or a puppet master’s strings. We don’t always know where it started but find ourselves entangled. For the person on the receiving end, the psychological impact is severe. It can trigger our brain’s trauma response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This occurs when we feel unsafe or powerless.

Since October 7, 2023, the Jewish community has been in what I call “active trauma”—the trauma is ongoing, with no clear end in sight. At this point, I would even describe it as a combination of trauma and communal grief. Yesterday, for example, we witnessed the heart-wrenching funeral of the Bebas family. But it’s not just them. This is communal grief. We mourn them as a people, and this shapes our collective identity. So, what does this mean for self-esteem? How do people see themselves?

I want to reach out to those on the other side of this conversation. Social media creates a false sense of anonymity. It becomes easy to type hateful comments without considering the real-world consequences. But words truly hurt. They can trigger trauma responses. That is why I call it “anti-Semitism of identity destabilization.” This is the psychological impact of deliberate defamation. I can always email you more details if I’m speaking too fast. The psychological effects of anti-Semitism on Jewish individuals and communities are profound.

Trauma doesn’t always stem from one massive event like 9/11 or a violent assault. The accumulation of toxic, prolonged stress can also cause it. One of my slides illustrates this with a glass jar filled with rocks. At first, the jar holds strong. But over time, rock after rock is added, creating tiny fractures. Eventually, one last small pebble causes the entire jar to shatter. As a therapist, I’ve seen this play out countless times. People often come to therapy with a “small” problem—for example, they read one offensive comment online. On the surface, it seems like no big deal. They might tell themselves, “Oh, he’s just an idiot. I should ignore it.” But that one comment is just the final pebble. It’s the breaking point—the culmination of all the stress, discrimination, and trauma that came before it.

There is a reality that people are using bots in these spaces. I wasn’t even personally aware of bots when I first started advertising, even within mental health circles. When I shared information about continuing education classes, I was spammed with horrific cyber hate. At first, I used to take screenshots of everything, but now I know how to block certainwords—at least on Instagram and Facebook. I didn’t know that before.

At the time, I was overwhelmed by the flood of spam, and it was difficult not to take it personally until someone pointed out that many of these accounts were bots. The problem is that, even though they aren’t real people, they still create a powerful psychological effect. When an outsider sees 100 negative comments on a post, they might assume something must be wrong, or maybe those comments are valid—even though no one is researching the truth.

Anti-Semitism thrives on disinformation, distortion, and historical erasure. These bot networks fuel that misinformation and it’s easy for Jewish individuals to get drawn into responding. I don’t necessarily recommend engaging with them. Instead, I suggest reporting them. Unfortunately, Meta hasn’t effectively addressed these issues on Facebook or Instagram. The best approach is to block, ignore, and report them as much as possible.

In the mental health field, there are now organizations documenting and reporting anti-Semitic behaviour. If the person behind the posts is a licensed therapist, they are reported to their licensing boards. This is also happening in the medical field. However, I am not as involved in advocacy—my focus is on education and equipping the Jewish community with coping skills.

Jacobsen: Self-soothing is an important skill. It’s a part of resilience, though not the entire concept of resilience. That’s important to cover. In my opinion, this is one of the most practical and substantive ways to address these challenges on a community and individual level.

We often come across absurd, conspiracy-laden narratives. In another conversation, I encountered the claim that the Rothschilds own the moon. Supposedly, they have a secret base and plan various forms of world domination.

Shaw: I love it when people say, “The Jews control the weather.” I don’t know where you are, but I’m in New York. And if I controlled the weather, it would be 70°F and sunny all the time. So, that’s proof that I don’t control the weather.

There’s also proof that we don’t control the media. If we did, we wouldn’t receive such overwhelmingly negative media coverage. The fact that anti-Semitic narratives are being amplified so widely contradicts that entire idea.

Before we leave, I created a framework called The Guard System, which is designed to help with these challenges. Each letter represents a different clinical orientation and provides specific, concrete skills. Whether I’m teaching it to therapists to help their clients or presenting it in a synagogue for people to apply to their own lives, the system is designed to be practical and accessible.

It starts with G—gratitude. We incorporate skills from 12-step recovery programs. U—understanding integrates concepts from psychodynamic therapy and narrative therapy. A—attitude to action applies to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). R—regulation, Reset, and Reconnect focus on emotional regulation and grounding techniques.

Some of the simplest grounding exercises can make a huge difference. That’s why I teach therapists how to use them with their clients, work with campus rabbis to help college students, and bring these tools into synagogues to strengthen community resilience. The challenge is that people often forget to use these techniques at the moment.

That’s why we chose the word “GUARD”—to create a system that allows for easy recall. Think about how often you’ve attended a lecture and thought, “That was useful.” Still, later, you can’t remember the details. We developed two systems: the Guard System and the Bridge.

The Bridge System is designed for people who have been exposed to indoctrination—it helps bridge the gap when engaging with someone who has begun believing anti-Semitic tropes. But focusing on regulation and self-soothing, we need people to develop tools to cope independently.

The goal of therapy is for clients to rely on their therapist forever. My goal isn’t to keep people in endless treatment. The goal is to equip them with the skills to face their challenges independently.

Jacobsen: Any final takeaway points you want to make?

Shaw: The takeaway is that anti-Semitism is not just a symptom of broader societal unrest—when people feel disillusioned, they look for someone to blame.

Historically, Jews have been the canary in the coal mine. But anti-Semitism isn’t just people’s democratic values, critical thinking, and individual independence. When these fundamental principles are under attack, it signals that society as a whole is in trouble.

If you know what’s happening at some of these rallies or on college campuses, you’ll notice that people are not allowed to speak for themselves. There is an effort to silence critical thinking and discourage individuals from questioning narratives or conducting research.

What happens to a society when critical thinking is suppressed? What happens when people are encouraged to be passive, unquestioning, and unthinkingly follow a movement? It leads to radicalization. And that is not a world that 99.9% of Americans want to live in.

Now is not the time to remain silent. If you’ve ever wondered where you would have stood in Nazi Germany, now is the time to find out. If you haven’t spoken up, or if you haven’t offered a positive or reaffirming comment to someone in the Jewish community, then we know you would have been silent in the 1930s and 1940s.

It’s not just about your perceptions of the Middle East. I encourage you to question what you believe to be true. I won’t get political, but this happens in Canada and America.

Even if you had strong objections to Israel, how does that justify assaulting a college student on campus? How does it justify vandalizing a restaurant? Who gave you the right to do that?

How did I do?

Jacobsen: Pretty good. Thank you so much for your time today—I appreciate it.

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