Lee Reams on Kwillt and Memorialization

Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen

Publication (Outlet/Website): The Good Men Project

Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2024/10/13

*Transcript edited for readability.*

Kwillt is a platform that empowers individuals to celebrate and preserve their life stories. Through Legacy and Remembrance Patches, users can document milestones, memories and honor loved ones. Kwillt connects generations, ensuring every story is remembered and cherished, creating a lasting digital legacy for future generations. Lee Reams is a co-founder. 

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: So today, we are here with Lee Reams to discuss Kwillt, which is primarily focused on moving away from the toxic nature of social media and emphasizing a more positive, authentic approach. I may have just given away the plot, but from your observations, what were some of the original inspirations for creating this?

Lee Reams: I’ll give you a story if that’s all right. It all evolved from a trip to Egypt when the pandemic ended. Egypt was beginning to reopen, and it was a lifelong trip my father had always wanted to take.

He was still healthy enough to go, so we decided to do it. We went there, and it was like visiting Disneyland with no one else around. We had free rein and did the entire Nile cruise, seeing all the important landmarks.

As we explored the tombs and Egypt, what resonated with me was the culture, storytelling, and how the people controlled their narratives. We had just come through the pandemic and cancel culture, where opinions could be judged and attacked. You could express an opinion; someone might think it was wrong and come after you or your company, damaging your reputation. What struck me was how Egypt’s culture centred around storytelling.

When I returned, I started thinking about the experience of walking through someone’s life in chronological order, with images helping to tell the story. In Egypt, instead of written language, they used pictures. I found it incredibly moving, giving you a sense of someone’s life.

The original concept for Kwillt was born from this experience. I wondered if we could digitize something similar for people today. Every life has a story to tell, and everyone has valuable wisdom to share. So, how could we bring that into the modern age and transform what is typically a 2D experience into something more interactive?

We came up with storytelling, something we call “3D storytelling,” and that’s what Kwillt evolved into. We started with the idea of remembrance after someone passes away, or a legacy version, where individuals can chronicle their entire life story before they pass. They can start from the beginning and share their stories.

For the remembrance side, you can invite a whole group to contribute to a story. Let’s say you’re putting together a memorial slideshow for someone who has passed. Usually, a sibling or the eldest child is responsible for this, which can be overwhelming. Also, the story is often told from just one perspective. With Kwillt, you can invite family members, close friends, or anyone who knows your loved one to share their stories at different points in their lives.

Often, at a memorial, you hear someone say, “Oh, I met your dad when he was playing basketball at Albany,” and they’ll share a great story. Now, with Kwillt, those stories can be shared on a timeline from various points of view.

As we started developing the product, we got about 100 users involved, and through their feedback, we realized that this idea could be applied to almost any life event. I’ll give some examples: My daughter plays water polo, and her team travelled to Italy for two weeks. Everyone had their phones out, taking pictures for Instagram, but those moments are brief—they scroll by, and then they’re gone.

If they had been using Kwillt, everyone could have collaborated in a private space where only our community could see it. We could all add stories, creating something we could share with parents back home. We found that to be a valuable experience, and we realized this concept could be applied to any event—clubs, teams, weddings, and more.

Can you imagine a wedding where you can gather everyone’s perspectives and capture what they did during your special weekend, keeping it all as a keepsake under the Kwillt umbrella? Then, you can start connecting all these relationships. That’s where Kwillt started and where it’s evolving if that makes sense.

Jacobsen: You mentioned cancel culture earlier. People think of it as either a left or right issue, but I’ve seen it across the political and social spectrum. So it’s less about culture and more about a tactic, would you agree?

Reams: Yes, that’s a subtle distinction, but it’s important. The idea of storytelling plays a part in authenticity and in telling a more comprehensive narrative, especially during select events.

Jacobsen: Why do you think authenticity has become a valued part of culture? I’ve read reports from professionals observing a rise in patterns of narcissism, at least in North America, over several decades—not in clinical settings, but as a social trend.

Reams: You’re seeing a few things happening. You’re seeing an increase in mental health issues—especially among young people, with anxiety being so common. There’s immense pressure to be what you think others expect you to be. But all that pressure is lifted in a safe, community-oriented setting. You can be yourself without fear of judgment. It’s about communicating, laughing together, and sharing experiences that add value to your life. That’s one aspect of it.

Another is telling your story your way without someone else twisting it to fit a certain narrative. I completely agree with you—it’s not a left-wing or right-wing issue. In our culture, certain groups control the narrative right now. I used to call it the middle 80%, but maybe we’re down to 60% because the fringes have grown so much. It’s become very difficult for people who are more level-headed, calm, and not easily triggered to voice what they think.

I’ve noticed more people disengaging from social media, especially those in your age group. For example, Gen Xers are probably the least likely to post anything on Instagram, but we’re much more prone to engaging in private groups. We’re using tools like WhatsApp or GroupMe, where I stay connected with my fraternity brothers from college. We reconnected during the pandemic, and technology allowed us to do that.

If we had a tool like Kwillt, we could upload stories and pictures in a safe environment, preserving and enjoying those memories together instead of just chatting. It’s entertainment, but it’s also a form of community. You mentioned narcissism earlier, and I don’t want to speak negatively about a particular group, but the Kardashian-style “me, me, me” culture has impacted America. It’s not all about the individual—it’s about friends, family, and loved ones. It’s about enjoying time together without outside influences judging you.

That’s my perspective. More people are starting to speak up than they previously wouldn’t have because they’re tired of the craziness on both sides. Unfortunately, in today’s society, a small group seems to be steering the direction of things.

Jacobsen: And there’s a broader potential issue here, where even the concept of authenticity could become a brand and, ironically, fake. In some ways, that could mirror many of the pathologies we noted earlier. How do you ensure, through Kwillt, that you don’t just brand authenticity but make it the foundation of the model you’re pursuing?

Reams: Yes. The community itself helps keep you in check. You’re sharing within groups close to you, so it’s not like we’re trying to be a social media platform. We’re focused on being a community platform. To us, “community” means family.

People are not as fake within their families. Some may embellish things or feel insecure and push their “best life,” but they’re more likely to be their authentic selves in scenarios where they feel safe. People feel more comfortable with family, a team, or creating something to share a pregnancy journey. For example, someone could use Kwillt to document their pregnancy from start to finish, and then after the baby is born, they could use it to ask family members to contribute to the child’s college fund. That’s the kind of meaningful use we’re aiming for.

Even if some things are a bit edited down, when you’re controlling who’s part of the group, you’re not as worried about outsiders making noise. Many online disruptions come from trolls just out to stir up trouble and antagonize others. That’s not good for anyone’s mental health or well-being. We’re the opposite of that experience if that makes sense.

Jacobsen: Yes, focusing on community and close relationships—family, cousins, and so on—does tie into the concept of boundaries in storytelling. You mentioned friends, family, sororities, fraternities, and other groups. That seems to be another important aspect of Kwillt. However, with any business model, especially a media model, the goal is often to expand. So, how do you scale up?

Reams: That’s a great question. Our business is built on the network effect. Take remembrance, for instance. In the original model, someone is creating a digital memorial or slideshow, and there are QR codes people can scan. Those who can’t attend the memorial in person can still view the slideshow. When you share the QR code or the link on social media or via email, even people who didn’t attend the event can access it. Out of 100 people who see it, some may create a Kwillt memorial for a loved one.

For example, after one memorial, four others might be created. Each person can leave comments or memories. Some may think, “I want to make one of these for Uncle Bill, who passed away,” and the network grows. The multiplier effect comes into play, and that’s how we see the community expanding exponentially.

We also have a “stitching” feature where users can stitch together relationships and experiences. This is where the community aspect and network effect come into play. We fully commit to this approach and believe the network effect will drive our growth. There are other ways to amplify that growth, but the network effect will make or break the platform.

Jacobsen: Have there been any Kwillts created for memorials around tragedies?

Reams: Yes, you nailed it, Scott. One of the first things we focused on was related to healthcare records. I’m adopted, so at one point, I didn’t know much about my DNA or medical history. I have a daughter, and people often ask about our family health records. Through Kwillt, we developed a tool called “Lifeline,” which allows users to share their health information with their family tree or anyone they’re connected with.

If there’s something like lupus running in a family or a tragic event, Kwillt provides a way for people to come together. We’re not trying to compete with Facebook communities, but we want to offer a space for people with shared experiences to connect, find support, and access resources. While we haven’t fully expanded into that area yet, the feature is there, and it aligns perfectly with the use case you described.

We will approach this from an angle where we could likely get some cosponsors to help backfill resources. While we won’t be experts in some areas, we believe groups will be interested in sponsoring and helping manage certain aspects. As you mentioned, shared experiences—even in grief, tragedies, or shared illnesses—are important for keeping diverse perspectives. How did you handle this? What were the signs? How did you cope as a caregiver? How did you deal with the stress? There are many angles that Kwillt was built to address.

Jacobsen: Are there areas where this could go wrong? 

Reams: Of course, with anything, you might have rogue participants. Have you heard stories of someone writing a terrible obituary for their mother because they hated her? There are risks in that regard.

However, we have policing tools in place. Users can flag inappropriate content. As the owner of a patch, you have master admin rights. You also have some controls and safeguards to manage the content. The most significant risk is when families have rivalries or unresolved conflicts. Not everyone is perfect, and not every family member will want to participate.

That’s why we’ve built in different privacy levels: one-to-one, group, and public privacy options. These features allow users to control access and protect themselves. I believe we’ve put sufficient safeguards in place, but those are the areas where things could potentially go south.

Jacobsen: Any final thoughts based on today’s conversation?

Reams: You’ve hit on where things are headed. People are just tired of being the product. Every aspect of their privacy is sold and monetized, and they want a digital experience that feels more like a positive rabbit hole of memories, something with emotional depth. That’s what Kwillt is all about.

Whether remembering a loved one and listening to an audio message they left behind or using the time-lapse feature to replay a wedding, much wisdom can be shared. It’s a completely different experience from what’s out there on social media today.

If you’ve ever seen Michael J. Fox’s documentary, it offers an authentic glimpse into his life. That’s the storytelling and timeline feature we want to encourage on Kwillt. People have so much wisdom to share. Imagine if grandkids could learn about what their grandparents did—an immense amount of knowledge is currently not being shared as it once was.

Hopefully, Kwillt will thrive, and people will start using it to gain its many benefits.

Jacobsen: Excellent. Lee, thank you for your time today.

Reams: Thank you, Scott.

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In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. ©Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing 2012-Present. Unauthorized use or duplication of material without express permission from Scott Douglas Jacobsen strictly prohibited, excerpts and links must use full credit to Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing with direction to the original content.