How Romantic Body Language Reveals Emotional Connection in Relationships
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): A Further Inquiry
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/05/28
Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist with over 18 years of experience. Based in Stockholm, she specializes in sexual health, intimacy, and couples therapy. She works at Venhälsan and writes for Passionerad, offering expert guidance on sex, relationships, STDs, and sex toys to diverse audiences. Roos explains how romantic body language reflects emotional connection. From mirroring gestures and eye contact to subtle physical touches, partners reveal closeness or distance nonverbally. These cues evolve over time and differ culturally. Roos writes for Sweden’s Passionerad: https://passionerad.se/.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: How does body language between romantic partners reflect emotional connectivity?
Sofie Roos: For most couples, the body language works as a mirror showing the emotional closeness, so you can tell a lot by two partners’ emotional connection by viewing their body language when being together!
When there’s a strong emotional contact between two partners, they often make spontaneous bodily acts out of attraction, comfortness, safety and desire, such as making deep eye contact, mirroring each others body language (for example if someone leans against a bar desk, the other one does the same, or if one tilt their head, the other one does that too), they lean against each other, let their legs touch when sitting on a bus or on a bench, they touch each other while laughing and does other small gestures of affection.
Most of this subtle body language is done unconsciously, and happens genuinely out of being in harmony and balance with each other!
Jacobsen: What are nonverbal cues indicating attraction in couples?
Roos: There’s quite many signs to look for, such as holding eye contact for long, many times combined with a smile, to face each other with open bodies (not crossing arms, but standing straight and inviting), mirroring each others body language, touching each other while talking and changing tone of voice to a softer and warmer tone while interacting.
Face expressions such as smiling, following the partner with the eyes, noodling while they’re talking or raising the eyebrows while looking at each other are also signs showing that a couple is attracted to each other.
So if a couple checks some of these signs, that’s often proof that they are really into one another!
Jacobsen: Can a lack of physical gestures signal underlying issues?
Roos: Yes, it can, because our body language seldom lies, even though it also can have to do with culture, such as being raised in a household or society where public affirmation is taboo (this generally doesn’t go for the western culture).
So, if avoiding physical closeness, eye contact or if keeping a cold tone while talking to each other, that can signal emotional distance, that a couple has an ongoing conflict or other type of problem they need to sort out, or that the attraction is fading. It can also signal that a couple has started to take each other for granted!
A couple who stops seeking physical contact, and doesn’t get physical spontaneously and in small everyday moments, can therefore indicate that they have problems, but these problems must not be about the relationship, but can also be personal, such as being stressed or down!
Jacobsen: How might body language differ between newer relationships and weathered ones?
Roos: In newer relationships, the body language is often more obvious and intense romantically speaking. A couple that’s newly in love and going through their honeymoon phase will search for passionate and intense physical contact such as sitting close to each other, holding hands all the time, playing with one another’s hair, fooling around with each other physically such as tickling etc.
This is an expression for strong attraction where you want to express your love all the time.
In relationships that’s gone on for long, these gestures tend to be more low key and subtle. It can be a quick hand on the hip when going into the grocery store, smiling at or kissing each other on the cheek when saying goodbye in the morning, or giving that short but deep and telling eye contact in an everyday situation.
That the body language changes as the relationship gets older is fully normal and natural!
Jacobsen: Are there gender-based or cultural differences in emotional intimacy through body language?
Roos: Yes, the differences can be quite big between genders, and especially between different cultures.
In some cultures and societies, physical attachment in public spaces or in front of the kids and friends is inappropriate and rare, while it in western societies often is more accepted, even though some families can be more conservative and see it as something that should happen between closed doors, even if it’s just a kiss or a hug.
Men are also generally worse at showing their love and attraction through body languages compared to women, since it’s often seen as a bit feminine to express love that way. This has, however, changed a lot and most men are much more comfortable showing love in non verbal ways in public today compared to 70 years ago!
Jacobsen: How can couples become more attuned to each other?
Roos: Learning and picking up each other’s body language for showing love and attraction is a great way to deepen the relationship and is therefore something worth spending a little energy on – because otherwise you go around and not get when your partner expresses their love for you which is such a waste!
A great advice couples can do to get more aware of each other’s bodily expressions for love is to talk about how you express love. Most of the time, you know about your own ways, such as you laying your hand on their thigh or you smelling them in the neck being an action done because you like them and want to be close.
You can also get more aware and observant of your partner’s actions, because it’s easy to take them for granted or see past them. This is easier if first talking about how you show love in subtle ways!
You can also be more positive towards your partner when they take the initiative to be close, such as when they want to hold your hand or cuddle up in your neck when you stand by the thing where you pay for the parking cost.
Jacobsen: In therapy sessions, what body language might reveal dynamics not expressed verbally?
Roos: As a relationship therapist, I closely view and observe a couple’s body language since it often can tell more than their words, or help me understand what they say, and their problems better.
I do for example look at if a person faces away from their partner, crosses their arms, avoids eye contact or sits as far away from them as they can.
I also look at who takes the initiative to physical and eye contact, and who’s (eventually) pushes it away or is avoiding it.
If someone often smiles at their partner, but without the smile “reaching the eyes”, meaning that the laugh lines by the eyes aren’t showing, indicating a fake smile, then that’s also a sign of someone consciously trying to hide how they really feel for their partner by putting on a mask.
Shifts in tone of voice, tensions going through the body, especially during certain conversation topics, changes in breathing, looking down on the floor or shaking your feet can also be signs that something isn’t alright.
Jacobsen: Can touch, posture, or facial expressions enhance emotional intimacy in struggling relationships?
Roos: Yepp! Even couples facing difficulties and challenges can benefit from building a stronger and more intimate body language.
For example: start facing each other when talking, hold hands when watching TV or walking, look each other in the eyes when having a conversation, lay your arm on their shoulder when they tell you about something difficult or simply sit leg against leg while on the sofa.
These are all things that can increase the emotional intimacy between you. It will also increase the doses of oxytocin, aka the love hormone, which in the long run makes you feel more calm, safe and in love with your partner!
Many people think it’s easier to express some things with their body instead of with words, which makes touch, posture and facial expressions a great way to show how you feel!
I’m writing for the leading relationship magazine in Sweden named Passionerad and am answering on initiative from my editor, so would be very thankful if you could include a link to them in my reference as an expert since I’m representing them in this answer. Their link is https://passionerad.se/.
Jacobsen: Thank you for the opportunity and your time, Sofie.
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