Ask A Genius 1071: QAnon
Author(s): Rick Rosner and Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2024/08/06
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: First, what the fuck was QAnon, and why is it bullshit?
Rick Rosner: QAnon is fairly complicated, but in a way that they can all fuck off with. It’s like the cliché murder board or murder wall in detective shows, where somebody gets obsessed or goes crazy and takes a wall in their garage or the squad room, puts up a bunch of pictures and attaches them with yarn until you’ve got this macrame that covers a wall. QAnon is a set of linked theories that are all individually stupid like JFK has been kept someplace secret since the so-called assassination, and he’s coming back. Maybe I have that wrong. Maybe it’s RFK Jr. who’s coming back. He didn’t die in a plane wreck and has had plastic surgery, so you can’t recognize him.
The whole Pizzagate thing was part of QAnon, claiming that Hillary Clinton and Tom Hanks eat kids for something called adrenochrome, which they believe gives them powers. A guy shows up at Comet Ping Pong in Washington, DC, because he knows from his fucking conspiracy buddies that there’s a basement where kids are being abused, except that Comet Ping Pong doesn’t have a basement. It was built on a slab. This guy shows up with guns. It’s all wildly stupid theories aimed at mentally ill lunatics. It’s all straight-up fucking garbage.
That makes you sad to have spent time figuring out what it’s about. Q was a government worker who had access to all these secret plans. The claim is that he either left or escaped the government or maybe is still in the government and is sending coded messages about the evil plans. It’s all for idiots who are too dumb to know they’re idiots, which is the Dunning-Kruger effect. It’s like adding up the number of letters in words or assigning numbers to letters and then using those numbers to create new conspiracies. It’s like the worst fucking spy movie in the world, except worse because even the worst spy movie wouldn’t be this stupid. Rotten tomatoes.
And why are we talking about all this bullshit? Because it’s all bullshit.
Jacobsen: Because I love hearing your takes on this stuff.
Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org
Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com
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