Ask A Genius 1038: Being hit in the nutsack during golf
Author(s): Rick Rosner and Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2024/07/28
Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org
Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: You played golf?
Rick Rosner: I’ve only played Wii Golf and putt-putt. Have you?
Jacobsen: I played golf a lot when I was younger.
Rosner: It seems it would be fun and frustrating. You have to learn to be calm.
Jacobsen: It’s both. My grandpa and I were on the 17th hole of a par 72 course. My grandfather scored 71 on the 17th hole. My cousin and my brother were both there. I was making fun of my grandfather so much. He has since died, but he needed to get a hole-in-one to par the course. That’s very unlikely.
So we get up, and he’s the first to go on the 18th hole at 71. He hits the ball, it lands a little bit in front to the right, and it rolls back into the hole. He gets a hole-in-one and pars the course. It was the best karma I’ve ever seen in my life.
Another time, I was on a very slopey course full of sand. Some areas had trees and rivers running through them and little tributaries. There were obstacles everywhere in those courses. I remember a fence to my right and a shed to the left. But the shed was built on a mound. The concrete foundation was sticking out a bit on my left. I was practicing my swing. On the right side of me, there was a big metal fence separating the course. I was with my grandpa again.
I accidentally shot the ball and twisted the club to the left. So the ball went left, curved left, hit the corner of the foundation, probably 10 yards away. It then flew back towards me, hit the big metal post of the fence, came back towards me, and hit me right in the nutsack. That was a great one. It was so good that I instantly went down. Three college kids are making a hole to the side and beside us, laughing. Yes, they were laughing. It hit me in the nuts, and I collapsed right to the ground. I have a lot of good golf stories.
Rosner: When I was working on clip shows, we did an entire show dedicated to guys getting hit in the nuts for Fox. There was a contest where you could count the ball hits and enter to win a prize. So, yes, ball hits are a big deal.
Jacobsen: It’s like the Simpsons thing where a man gets hit by a football.
Rosner: I used to do some bowling when I was a kid, and I would be the same way with golf. I’d be doing fine, then I’d have a shitty frame, and I’d say fuck it, and then I’d throw the ball trying to break stuff. I assume I could get through four decent holes of golf if I ever took it up. I did this at putt-putt, too. I’d be doing fine, then I had a couple of shitty holes and then tried to create havoc. I’d try to hit it so hard off a ramp on one hole that it flies onto another, becoming your new hole. You’re no longer keeping score; you’re just fucking around. Sports help focus your behaviour and get you through rough patches.
You’re still in the game. You have to keep your objective in mind. Don’t get pissed or freak out. The deal is that I never learned those lessons because I didn’t do sports. So, every time I did do sports, it turned to shit.
License & Copyright
In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. ©Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing 2012-Present. Unauthorized use or duplication of material without express permission from Scott Douglas Jacobsen strictly prohibited, excerpts and links must use full credit to Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing with direction to the original content.
In-Sight Publishing 