Ask A Genius 1025: Icky Food
Author(s): Rick Rosner and Scott Douglas Jacobsen
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2024/07/27
Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org
Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten in the most gross context?
Rick Rosner: To prove my toughness.
My first job was as a bouncer. I’ve never been particularly bouncer-sized or sound at the fighting part of bouncing, so I had to show that I was crazy in other ways. I can take a punch, so I was always happy to get punched. I would do other stuff to show I’m crazy. I’d get naked at parties, at after-work parties.
I would chew the tops off beer bottles, which is a terrible thing to eat because when you get the pieces in your mouth, you have to chew them until they’re small enough to be sure they won’t cut you up as they pass through you. That’s much chewing of glass, which is unpleasant. I couldn’t do it now. My teeth would probably crack, but that was a gross thing that I ate.
At the first bar I worked at, they used to have tampon tents in the women’s bathroom. These little metal boxes, maybe 8 inches square by 9 inches tall, had a tented flap on top where women would drop their used sanitary products instead of throwing them in the toilet and clogging it. Once or twice, to show how crazy I was, I would bite a used tampon. So that’s pretty fucking gross. Gingerly, I wouldn’t… it was a little boy.
That was plenty. Showing I was crazy. A Bismarck donut was one of those rectangular donuts with maple frosting on top. Somebody had brought it from the cafeteria and dropped it in the lobby of my dorm. That thing had been kicked back and forth all day, and now it was evening. It had gotten a nice coating of debris from the floor. I remember it being covered with much hair.
I took a bite of that. So those are the things that come to mind.
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