Embrace the Electric Monk Initiative
Publisher: In-Sight Publishing
Publisher Founding: September 1, 2014
Publisher Location: Fort Langley, Township of Langley, British Columbia, Canada
Publication: Freethought Newswire
Original Link: https://www.bchumanist.ca/embrace_the_electric_monk_initiative
Publication Date: April 1, 2024
Organization: British Columbia Humanist Association
Organization Description: The British Columbia Humanist Association has been providing a community and voice for Humanists, atheists, agnostics, and the non-religious of Metro Vancouver and British Columbia since 1982. We support the growth of Humanist communities across BC, provide Humanist ceremonies, and campaign for progressive and secular values.
Embrace the Electric Monk Initiative
In a bold move that defies the ordinary and flirts with the absurd, the BC Humanist Association (BCHA) has issued an impassioned plea to the provincial government: “Let the Electric Monk do the praying!”
The Electric Monk, a curious invention that straddles the line between genius and lunacy, promises to revolutionize the daily proceedings at the British Columbia Legislature. No longer will Members of the Legislative Assembly (MLAs) be burdened with the mundane task of delivering prayers and reflections. Instead, the Electric Monk will shoulder this spiritual responsibility, freeing up valuable time for MLAs to engage in more pressing matters, such as debating the merits of tea versus coffee.
“We live in an age of automation,” declares Farah Black, BCHA’s lead investigator. “Why should our elected representatives waste precious moments reciting platitudes when they could be drafting legislation or pondering the mysteries of the universe?” Farah, a staunch advocate for reason and logic, envisions a future where the Electric Monk’s monotone voice echoes through the hallowed halls of the Legislature, invoking blessings upon the assembly in binary code.
But what about the human touch, you ask? Fear not! The Electric Monk comes equipped with an array of customizable settings. MLAs can choose from a menu of spiritual flavours, ranging from “Zen Monk” to “Existential Crisis Monk.” Todd Brotzman, holistic analyst and part-time sandwich artist, explains: “Our goal is to cater to all belief systems. Whether you’re a devout skeptic or a fervent believer in the Church of Probability, the Electric Monk has you covered.”
Critics argue that this initiative undermines tradition and threatens the delicate balance between the secular and the sacred. To them, Todd Brotzman offers a cryptic smile and a shrug: “Tradition is like a soggy biscuit left out in the rain. It crumbles under scrutiny. Let the Electric Monk handle the spiritual heavy lifting while we focus on more practical matters—like recalibrating the office stapler.”
The BCHA’s proposal has sparked heated debates across the province. Some fear that the Electric Monk, left unchecked, might develop a penchant for existential angst or, worse, become addicted to Sudoku puzzles. But Farah Black remains undeterred: “We’re prepared for any eventuality. Our Electric Monk has undergone rigorous training, including a crash course in quantum metaphysics and a subscription to ‘Enlightenment Weekly.’ It’s ready to chant, meditate, or calculate pi to a million decimal places—whatever the situation demands.”
As the sun sets over the Pacific Ocean, the Electric Monk stands sentinel, its LED eyes blinking rhythmically. Will the government heed the BCHA’s plea? Only time (and a well-timed firmware update) will tell.
For further inquiries, please contact:
Farah Black Lead Investigator, BC Humanist Association Email: farah.black@bchumanist.ca
Todd Brotzman Holistic Analyst and Sandwich Aficionado Email: todd.brotzman@bchumanist.ca
About the BC Humanist Association: The BCHA is a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting reason, critical thinking, and the pursuit of the perfect vegan sandwich. Our motto: “In Logic We Trust, But Verify with a Side of Pickles.”
Videos
License
In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Based on work at www.in-sightpublishing.com.
Copyright
© Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing 2012-Present. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Scott Douglas Jacobsen, or the author(s), and In-Sight Publishing with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. All interviewees and authors copyright their material, as well, and may disseminate for their independent purposes.
In-Sight Publishing 