Ask A Genius 670: Awful Comments
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen and Rick Rosner
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2022/01/09
[Recording Start]
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: How do you deal with comments that are awful aimed at you in all domains?
Rick Rosner: I’ve faced terrible behavior in various settings. One experience was working as a bouncer in bars, where checking IDs and ejecting people often led to verbal abuse. It was part of the job, and to some extent, even exciting. Before social media, most people didn’t encounter confrontations daily, but here I was, in a job where confrontations were frequent. Once, after confiscating a fake ID, a girl insulted me humorously. I’ve had experiences like getting bitten, puked on, and even punched. Although I didn’t grow up very manly, engaging in these confrontational, ‘manly’ activities was somewhat enjoyable and felt like an adventure.
Transitioning into comedy, I brought lessons from that world. I wasn’t great at firing back, so I would just take it and shrug it off, playing along. In writers’ rooms, I’d endure the tough environment and keep trying. I had a writing partner who often treated me terribly. Most of the time, I endured it, rationalizing it as part of the well-paid job. There was one instance where I did fight back physically, but that was an exception.
While dealing with this abuse from my writing partner, I was undergoing therapy every few weeks. Through couples counseling, I could express how working in such an environment made me feel. Despite the abuse, there was camaraderie and affection.
Jacobsen: So, not all bad, in other words.
Rosner: Absolutely not. It was part of the understanding that we loved each other, except for the psychopaths and sociopaths. We played rough because we were adults, and that’s the nature of this type of comedy. You need to push boundaries, which includes ‘busting balls.’ In middle school or junior high, this sort of behavior is expected. Often, the meanest things said to me and others came from people I love. They targeted vulnerabilities, not out of malice, but as part of the fun and play.
I often received more flak than others because I had more quirks to poke fun at. This, in a way, gave me a certain amount of job security. Being the figure of fun and playing the fool was part of how I fitted into this environment.
[Recording End]
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