Ask A Genius 640: More Grotesqueries
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen and Rick Rosner
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2021/12/05
[Recording Start]
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What are other grotesque things about your anatomy or physiology that you find?
Rick Rosner: I’ve been thinking, if this Kevin Kretschmer show happens, about giving a tour of my various grotesqueries. The second one would be my balls, which feel like big sacks of spaghetti due to a bunch of extra veins. So, my balls are fairly large because they’re full of surplus veins. The third would be my butthole, which is mostly scar tissue. At one point, not of my own volition, but due to others’ curiosity, I had to take a picture of it because I talked about it too much, given its problematic nature. I don’t recall if I looked at the photo, but someone said my butthole looks like a pair of kissy lips, kind of like the Rolling Stones logo. That’s pretty grotesque.
I’ve got around 10 feet or more of scars, most of which I carved into myself trying to be manly. Some of those scars are fairly picturesque, as I placed them artistically, but I’ve also had a bunch of minor surgeries, so I have various little incisions. Well, I’ve had about 1,650 hair transplants. They don’t look too bad, but up close, I guess they’re a little grotesque. My nostrils have been narrowed by about an eighth of an inch on each side, so there are stitch marks from where they were sliced and sewn back.
If you look at a lot of people’s nostrils where they join the face, many are a little torn up around there. I don’t have two different colored eyes like my dad did. I’ve got a beard chin – I have a fairly weak chin. It’s not disastrously weak, but enough that I wanted plastic surgery as a kid. It’s a simple surgery; they just slice open between the front of your teeth and your front lip and jam a chin-shaped thing in there. But my mom wouldn’t let me get it. Eventually, I grew a beard, which covers it up, plus it’s not too bad. Like David Duchovny, he doesn’t have a strong chin, and he’s still considered attractive.
Now that I’m older, I’m getting lots of earwax, which they don’t tell you is a thing about getting old. Old people produce more earwax, which is a bit gross. Though, I’m holding off on the ear hair – I only get a new ear hair every month or two. My dad had huge, tough, severe ear hair that was unmanageable, but mine come along slowly enough that I can keep them under control. You know, that’s most of the grotesqueries.
[Recording End]
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