Ask A Genius 492 – What? (2)
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen and Rick Rosner
Publication (Outlet/Website): Ask A Genius
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2019/12/02
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Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Does this play into personal dynamics for you?
Rick Rosner: I am a little aware of it. Because I am conversationally awkward. Perhaps, it is more conscious than other people in other situations. I worked in bars for 25 years. I worked in a very loud environment.
I was constantly on my toes, because I was getting incomplete information. What is something that I can say based on me not being able to hear this drunk guy that will be innocuous, my responses were head nodding or “Yeah, for sure.”
And I was hoping that what I didn’t hear the guy saying, “You think I am a real dick, don’t you?” But that was a low probability. Most people don’t go around saying, “You think I am a real dick.”
But I was aware of the pitfalls of agreeing. In conversation, we are doing the same process. We are predicting and setting up different responses on a different basis. It pops into our head. But what pops up is preconscious and non-verbal processing, it sets the brain.
Also, I have been on a couple of cheesy talk shows. I have been on Geraldo once. I have been in situations, where I have been on a panel. The deal is that there are three or four people talking.
In that deal, you have to be very conscious of the next point that you want to make, and then be willing to move on from making a point if the topic has changed. I am pretty interrupty.
Obviously, I am not great at conversation, but I am aware of, at least, some situations in which I am conscious or doing conscious monitoring of the flow of conversation. A lot of the time, we are not conscious of the flow of the conversation.
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