Born to do Math 170 – Odds of Odd Jobs
Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen and Rick Rosner
Publication (Outlet/Website): Born To Do Math
Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2020/05/22
[Beginning of recorded material]
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: What are the odd jobs?
Rick Rosner: The oddest job I ever got was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I worked for a stripping telegram company. That’s not that odd. What was odd, my boss would call me with other jobs. He called me one time. I had to show up at somebody’s house and dump a bucket of water on aa guy because he and his wife were having an escalating water fight. I show up at the house. I am not that physically adept. I throw the bucket of water at the guy. I miss him with most of the water and clip him in the head a bit with the bucket.
Jacobsen: [Laughing].
Rosner: Although, it was a plastic bucket. I doubt these people stayed together much longer. Because when you’re hiring people to assault your husband, even if it is all in good fun, and if you’re living in Albuquerque, everybody gets divorced anyway. It was an odd job. Also, in Albuqurque, I worked at the Fat Chance Bar & Grill as a bouncer. One of my duties at the end of the night is people would throw their pennies at the end of the night into the urinal. My job was to fish the pennies out of the urinal. I would fish them out. I was broke. I would use them to help pay for cans of chunky clam chowder, which I would mix with a can of tuna. I was lifting weights. I liked the calories. I liked the protein. I used to eat cans of tuna, just dry out of the can, which is miserable. Also stupid, it is hard on the kidneys to eat that much protein. Putting the tuna in the chowder made it palatable.
I’ve had jobs where I model for somebody. This hasn’t happened in more than 30 years now. The guy, it is always a guy, would ask if I would get a boner. And… I said, “Yeah.” He wouldn’t touch the boner. But he would look at the boner. Getting a boner [Laughing] is an odd job.
Jacobsen: You’ve been naked a lot in T.V. and a movie.
Rosner: Oh, yeah! Being naked is not that common of a job, I have been naked, maybe, 1,500 times, roughly, in public, for money, generally. One time, I wanted to get naked to be an a-hole, at a party. I would not get naked for free because that is perverted; they would pay whatever pocket change, like 73 cents or something. I went undercover as a high school student a few times. But that was self-assigned. Nobody gave me that job.
Jacobsen: “Hello, fellow kids!”
Rosner: Do you know what movie that is from?
Jacobsen: The Simpsons?
Rosner: That is one of the best memes. I saw this with Steve Buscemi with a backwards hat and a skateboard saying, “Hello, fellow kids!”
Jacobsen: Oh wait, you’re right. It is 30 Rock.
[End of recorded material]
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