Kyle Williams Interview

Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen

Publication (Outlet/Website): Fresh Start Recovery Centre

Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2017

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: So let’s start off of family background. What’s the short of the long?

Williams: So, I was born in Ontario in Ottawa. We’re all good Canadian folks; dad was born in Halifax, mom was born in Ottawa, and we’re all basically your run-of-the-mill Canadians when it comes down to it. I was a family of four; I have a younger sister and my folks, and my sister is three years younger than me. My dad comes from a family of five boys, so you’ve got four uncles on side and on my mom’s side she has a sister and a brother, so a couple uncles and an aunt on side. We’re not too exciting when it comes to family background.

Jacobsen: And I mean you were a typical kid sports and things. How was elementary school for you or the things would you do the time?

Williams: Elementary school; my parents and teachers always used to joke my favourite subject was recess. I was always an active boy, spent time playing hockey, riding my bike. I was always an active outdoorsy kid, and in elementary school. It was around the time my parents got divorced and as most young boys do I was trying to fit in and have fun and then next on the priority list was to do well at school.

Jacobsen: Junior high and high school, how did this then transition into life?

Williams: Junior high and High school, we moved a little bit, but in Calgary. My dad had the same house, but we, my sister and I, were transitioning back and forth between houses week-on-week-off. My mum moved around Calgary, so we were always either closer or farther from friends. I learned to be independent, whether hopping on the bus or riding my bike somewhere and with independence came of drinking and drugs. For the most part, junior high was spent trying to be as good an athlete as I could, but I would experiment in parties with alcohol, and then high school athletics took a back seat to the partying and to the good times lifestyle. I was a wizard at skipping classes and managing to scrape by, but it was an interesting time for me. It was what I thought was fun but I didn’t take anything all seriously.

Jacobsen: And do you think your parents’ divorce was a significant factor on this?

Williams: No, I don’t think so. I went to a couple therapy sessions. I believe when my folks got divorced. I was seven years old and by the time I had made it into high school; from Elementary School to Junior High to High school, I’d seen so many of my friend’s parents get divorced. It wasn’t a… something I saw taking a toll on my life, it was something happened and I recognized it was happening everywhere, so I don’t think it was bearing on me at point.

Jacobsen: As you were a young experimenter with drugs and alcohol, you did attend university, but you have noted this was at a time of being a “Full blown alcoholic.” What was the first note, the first story, or a realization you had this was indeed the case?

Williams: I’m on a bike ride right now, riding across the country. I had time to think, and so I think the first time it was ever apparent to me was earlier than that, but, while in university, I carried the same party lifestyle I wanted in high school. But now, I wasn’t living under my parents’ roof. I wasn’t answering to anyone, except for teachers and the grades I had to pull. There wasn’t a whole lot of motivation and ambition left. I became interested in partying and getting drunk or high all the time. And I think is it was apparent when I was blocking out almost every time I drank, or disappointing friends, disappointing family. I have been in the hospital twice; once to get my stomach pumped, once to get re-fuelled up on saline solution, I was in the first week or two weeks of university. So it was apparent from the get-go.

Jacobsen: Given you were partying in university; was this a common set of friends you had that you were partying with?

Williams: I think down in Lethbridge there are parties every night of the week if you want. There’s something going on, so I was constantly able to find someone to hang out with. So there were common denominators along the way, I think. I would be the most common out of all of those. It was a large group of friends. I also had many groups of friends.

Jacobsen: Do you find yourself being the encourager as well as the one being encouraged to use alcohol?

Williams: I think peer pressure, especially in age, as well as setting is pretty apparent. It is pretty prominent amongst groups of friends even if it’s the old adage: “Let’s go for one beer.” I think that’s super common. Everyone does it. So it was how I would peer pressure people into it, and how other people would pressure me into doing it, but I had a rubber arm; it was pretty easy to twist.

Jacobsen: How did you, or when did you, find ‘Fresh Start’ as a way to bring you back into a more stable life?

Williams: I wish I found ‘Fresh Start’ earlier, but I went to university from the age of 19 to 23 I think, then I was down in Lethbridge until 2014. When I came back, I was working in night clubs in Calgary. It was a continuation of the lifestyle. I called for myself down in the university. I didn’t find Fresh Start until last year, until last April, and it was from series of hospital visits, series of people, who maybe hadn’t seen me in a long time calling me up and saying, “Hey, I saw you the other night and you aren’t doing so well.” As well, a strong family support network. I have an uncle who is familiar with Fresh Start; he’s been in recovery for 15 years now, and I was lucky he brought me in there to show me around and to introduce me to some people and that’s when I realized it was probably the smartest decision for me to go in there and turn it around.

Jacobsen: And now, you’re doing the Journey to Recovery. There are two hash tags; one is #journeytorecovery, and the other is #freedomthroughfitness. What was the inspiration for this, and what is the intent and purpose?

Williams: So last year, I did a cycling trip on a much smaller scale, not without challenges, but I was fresh out of treatment. I was on a little family vacation down in Kensington and through treatment though I wasn’t living there. I woke up every morning and rode my bike to Fresh Start. It was about 12 or 13 kilometres depending on which way I went. I would sit down in Penticton and I had my bike with me, and instead of packing my bike up and flying it home I decided I was going to ride it home. I was riding at the time with a single speed bike. So, I trekked through the Rockies about 625 kilometres or so. I’ve called this ride “Changing Gears” because I have a bike with gears on it, but I’ve also helped through this past year. I have changed gears in my life and have gained what has kept me in the right head space and kept me going. Freedom through Fitness, it’s a fitness community and being able to go for a workout and have extra people who have a common goal. It’s any meeting, but it is people from all walks of life. And I think it’s a strong wellness model and the purpose of this tour, this ride, has been I want to show anything is possible. Riding across the country is no small a feat, but I want to show people and talk to people at treatment centres along the way about how an active lifestyle and a fitness regimen you can be a strong levelling tool when you’re not feeling great, or when you are feeling great. It’s something I would to see more people and more places incorporate into their programs Fresh Start did.

Jacobsen: You have noted the ride itself does embody four principles; one was kindness, second was authenticity, third was reliability, and the fourth was love. I do note those four words in order spell the name K.A.R.L. Why these principles and why acronym?

Williams: So when I was living in the height of my partying and addiction days. I had a friend who used to say I would take on a drunk alter ego or an alter ego that wasn’t as pleasant as the person I was when I was sober. It wasn’t necessarily I was an angry, mean, or a hateful person, but I wasn’t the person I would want to be known for. And it wasn’t until I moved back to Calgary a friend of mine said, “Hey, when you get drunk or when you get high you aren’t Kyle anymore, you’re Karl.” It almost became a big joke. It almost became an action word people were getting. At one point, I was lying in bed and I was either in treatment, started treatment, and my uncle and I had been talking about developing a code to live by. I started looking at the opposites of the way I used to be. I said I wasn’t an angry person, but I was not also a kind person. I wouldn’t help someone if they asked, so kindness was something I wanted to try and embody. Authenticity was something I wanted to try and embody because when I was drinking or using drugs. I felt I was constantly being or trying to be someone I was not. It seems to be tiresome all the lies and the thoughts I had to protect this person I thought I was. I was lying to family, I was lying to friends, and it became exhausting. So I wanted to be authentically me without worrying about people judging or without worrying about what others might have thought. So that was an important piece. Reliability, I wasn’t a reliable person. I was drunk all the time. People would ask today if we wanted to come to some sort of function or if I wanted to help them move or with their regular daily life things. I would say, “Yes,” and then not show up. I’ll find an excuse to not be there, and so I think reliability is such an important piece of life in general when you say you’re going to do something, then you do it. So that’s something I wanted to live by. And then finally, love is when you can truly and wholeheartedly love, I think that’s the only way to live, and doing so in day to day life whether that’s your family, friends, relationships. I want to be able to love with no holds barred, nothing holding me back. And I kid you not. It’s hit me like a ton of bricks when I recognized this way of life has became the acronym for K.A.R.L. It was something I knew that I needed to share. I knew I wanted to live by those words and that’s how it became a piece of the ride, how it’s become a piece of my life. And I wake up every day grateful I’m now this Kyle as opposed to the old Karl.

Jacobsen: Thank you for that. And do you find almost this ride you changing gears is almost a riding away the old Karl? So you can say you can then more embody the newer one?

Williams: I hope so. It’s a piece of my life I wouldn’t change. It has made me the person I am today, but I think this ride for sure will be the start of bigger things to come, and the memory of the old Karl in the minds of friends and family will be less apparent and this new version will be more prominent.

Jacobsen: And for those would to help donate, or become involved in another way, how can they do so?

Williams: Donations are always greatly appreciated as well as a simple follow on Facebook or Instagram. I have a website. It’s changing-gears.ca. You can read my blog, post comments, ask questions, check out some of the pictures. We’re trying to get as many of those as possible when it’s not raining. There’s also a link there if you want to donate. It’s a donation through Fresh Start Recovery Center. They’ve been gracious and super helpful when it comes to partnering up with me for this. I also have a Facebook page and an Instagram page you can get to through the website.

Jacobsen: How important do you find working in community for recovery?

Williams: If you look at it in some terms of a 12-Step way, it’s extremely important. People say working with the newcomers keeps them sober and keeps them on a path of recovery. I think working in the community doesn’t necessarily have to be with the new comer. It can be with anyone. And so one of the ways I’m working in the community is I help lead a grassroots fitness movement called November Project in Calgary; they’re popping up all over the world. It’s a way you get out and interact with people who have a similar view on the world, but also all kinds of walks of life. So I think it’s important for anyone’s psyche to be out in the community and working with people. That’s what I’m trying to do.

Jacobsen: Do you have any final thoughts or feelings in conclusion based on the conversation today?

Williams: First, I’d like thank you so much for doing the interview. I also appreciate the support from Fresh Start; they’ve given me a great opportunity. I want to thank some other sponsors, an oatmeal company is sponsoring me called Stoked Oats as well as some help from Muscle Milk Canada without all of the support and all the donations have poured in this wouldn’t have been able to happen. I’m so incredibly lucky to have this opportunity. And the same goes for some of the media and the interviews I’m able to do. I want to thank you again and it’s been a pleasure.

Jacobsen: Thank you very much for your time, Kyle.

Williams: Yeah, thank you.

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In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Based on a work at www.in-sightjournal.com.

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